I wrote so many words, then Instagram told me that I talk too much. So here is the short version. I signed up to share this makeup almost 4 years ago. I did so many things right, but even more things wrong.
I got inside my head thinking that others would view me as that hey-bossbabe-come-join-my-team person so I backed off. I literally convinced myself that this is what I was doing. I wasn’t.
My husband tried to tell me that I would only sound like that person if I WAS that person. I didn’t believe him. I should always believe him. I stayed. I kept making a little bit of money and I kept loving the product. I was the most inconsistent about sharing and showing up.
March 2020 came and I lost myself for a very long time. I didn’t have a “thing” and I desperately needed that thing. I wasn’t good at much at all. I wasn’t achieving goals. I wasn’t being praised. I wasn’t doing much other than self-loathing, if we are being honest.
Then I read this book called Year of Yes and I realized that I am the QUEEN of getting in my own head and that I say no to everything because I’m paralyzingly afraid of failure. I know I’m amazing at my job so I don’t fear failure in that regard. I didn’t know how I was at this other thing so I was terrified of even trying.
But I was sinking. Quickly. I needed the thing. So I decided to dive in. Bury my head. Do the things. Show up. Learn. Listen. Serve. These are life lessons. These are the things I teach my students but don’t actually do for myself.
These pictures are exactly one year apart. The growth and journey that has happened for all four of us, for better or worse, in this last year, needed to be documented.
I am humbled and grateful and still typing too many words and not making enough sense. But I am eternally grateful for other people’s love and patience and kindness when I was giving myself none of those things. Thank you for helping me find my footing.
Oh, hi. Just wanted to let you know that I’m not feeling it today. My brain is in a million different places. I am having the hardest time getting my crap together for a presentation I needed to share with students/leaders yesterday. Instead of rushing to send them a half-finished product, I’m sending them a video explaining how I’m feeling today because I know that they’ll understand. I know that all of you understand. And it’s okay. We are allowed to feel the things. Typing the words so that I remember to be okay on this moment.
Happy 41 to this Kevi, the most patient man on the planet. The only person who would ever put up with my shiz every day of his life for the last 16 years. I love you. What a life we’ve made. The most proud. But also the most grateful. We have the best family and friends and kids and house and you’re everything to everyone
Recital night! We love watching our tiny (not actually tiny) dancer. One day Kevin will understand the need to be in ALLLLLLL the dances I wore my red lips for the occasion
Two weeks from today, all of the seats behind me will be filled with actual breathing human bodies. I’ve never taught this new class of mine in person. It’s about experience and awareness and self-care and growth mindset and that has been HARD to do through a screen. These freshmen have never been to high school and it’s April. I had no hope of a return this school year. The excitement and emotion is so high for me today. Teaching in person AND on Zoom at the same time is going to be interesting, to say the least, but so worth the figuring out of systems. This is surreal and fantastic and knowing that my people will be where they need to be—that I’ll be where I need to be with them and for them and for myself—it’s all so much. It truly feels like a new chapter. A new book. The “after,” if you will.
Hello, please meet my giant lapdog Bruno. He is trying his best to live up to being the most amazing dog ever like his big brother Hank, even though he never actually knew him. Either way, he’s pretty dang sweet, but I swear he’s already bigger than full-grown Hank #boxersofinstagram#puppylove#puppy#boxerpuppy#backyard
The most excited girl to be matching her mama today and it wasn’t even planned, which she thought was extra cool!
We are eating dinner standing in front of the kitchen AC window unit. It’s very warm today. Give me all the salads. This one is: brown rice, lettuce, cucumber, carrot, tomatoes, sun-dried tomatoes (not in oil), artichoke, chili sauce, and a tiny bit of balsamic glaze. The best parts: only 5 dishes to wash (two bowls, two forks, and a knife) and it took me about 6 minutes to whip together! Not sure what the children are eating (pretty sure I just saw Jojo walk by with ice cream) so don’t get too excited about my homemaking skills.
Step one: Take the pic
Step two: steam the wrinkles
Step three: it’s too dark for a smooth-legged pic
Step four: post the pic
Step five: reassure the public that I’d NEVER go out with wrinkled pants. Don’t fret.